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mountain.rediffiland.com/
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Amazing Sardar
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
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Professor Smith's first day
It was professor smith's first day at st. Johns medical college as a
faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a
classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm
welcome from the students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He
said,
"Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask
you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student
Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the
human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment,
she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a
female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight
around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could
satisfy his query. This time he located a male student Henry, who had already
raised his hand in affirmation to
answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".
The professor applauded for the boy's accurate
answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry
but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high
!!!!!!!(10 times....... ...huh... ...MY
GOD!!)
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Indian hell
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" "Because maintenance is so bad that The electric chair does not work, Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed And the devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!!
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Do love need a reason
Do Love Need A Reason?
Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:
Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..
Lady : You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.
Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.
The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer.
Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, here is the content:
Darling,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk?
No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..
Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Does love need a reason?
NO! Therefore,
I still LOVE YOU...
************ ********* *******
"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away"
************ ********* *******
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.'
************ ********* *******
Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
************ ********* *******
'Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays...'
************ ********* *******
"The story of a love is not important, What is important is that one is capable of Love"
************ ********* *******
And at the end : 'THOSE who believe in God, they are on earth and God is in heaven. Those who love God, He is before them.'
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cute love story
Touching love story, cute one ... you'll love this.
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love
with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy
future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find
them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a
local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."
So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple next day went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl was devastated and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the blood
stains immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl.
She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...
"This is Nirma Washing Powder"
"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder nirma Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye, sabki pasand nirma
Washing powder nirma,Washing powder nirma.Nirma"
10 ka 1, do pe ek free
I know how you all are feeling now...
Dont Be irritated and angry .... just for U
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Wish You A Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery VeRy
**********HAppY DIwaLI*******
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Many shades of Lord Krishna.
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Isn't it nice???????????????
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Dear Mr Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab.
We have bought a computer for our home and
we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned
to open e-mail account and whenever we
fill the form in Hotmail in the apassword
column, only ****** appears, but in the
rest of the fields whatever we typed appears,
but we face this problem only in password field.
We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no
problem in keyboard. Because of this we
open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves
do not know what the password is. 2. We are unable to enter anything after we
click the 'shut down ' button. 3. There is a button 'start' but there is no
"stop" button. We request you to check this. 4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One
of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran up to
Amritsar! So, we request you to change that
to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available
in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but
I own a scooter at my home. 6. There is 'Find' button but it is not
working properly. My wife lost the door
key and we tried a lot for tracing the key
with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to
protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So i suggest
u to provide one DOG to kill that cat. 8. Please confirm when u are going to give
me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards
in games) and when are u coming to my home
to collect your money. 9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he
wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so
when u will provide that? 10. Hey ye kya hi, I brought computer, cpu,
mouse and keypad lekhin there is only one
icon with 'MY Computer', remaining ka kya huwa? 11. Are ye to kamal hi aap bole raha hi ki
'MY Pictures' lekhin there is not even
single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that. 12. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about
'MICROSOFT HOME' Thanking you, Yours Banta Singh
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